IZZIE

‘Portraying Psychosis’

ABOUT

My final major project focuses on the subject of mental illness, society’s connection with it and the state of mind people experience when having a psychotic stage. I want to focus mainly on schizophrenia and the differences in emotions, behavior, willing, perceiving and thinking that occur with the disorder.

Mental illness has always been a taboo subject, not something to be discussed in everyday conversation. As a result mental illness has become a large stigma in today’s world, something exaggerated by the media. People laugh at things they are afraid of and do not understand-reacting to something unfamiliar in a familiar way.

This is a strange attitude to have considering 1 in 4 people experience some sort of mental disorder in their lifetime.

I want to explore the relationship we have with the mentally ill. To do this I hope to create a piece of furniture that will reflect a mentally ill person’s state of mind. I also want my work to help spread awareness about mental illnesses by informing and helping people to understand what it is to be mentally ill. I want my work to try and bridge the gap between people and rid the stigma associated with mental illness. I hope to change the viewer’s perception of mental illness by creating something which is visually interesting and allows viewers to interact with it.

 “Madness is inside all of us; in our dreams and nightmares, buried away in the deep recesses of our minds”--A R K Mitchell

WEEK ONE

23^th February 13

After deciding what I wanted to base my Final Major Project around I wrote my Statement of Intent and equipped it with a timetable to help me structure the ten weeks ahead and record how I will be using my time.

Planned Timetable

 25^th February 13

Visited MMU library today. Found some relevant books which will help me learn all about the different mental disorders-in particular Schizophrenia.

Lots of reading to do!

28^th February 13

Some interesting and emotional research on the net:

Click here to look at of the main websites I have been using at the moment

2^nd March 13

Three books down and a lot of notes!

Want to share some of my newly equipped knowledge:

 (Gained mainly from the book Schizophrenia-The meanings of madness – A R K Mitchell)

"Schizophrenia-A mind divided against itself” -A R K Mitchell

Schizophrenic people do NOT have split personalities like most people wrongly believe; it is a disorder in which the way we function is separated. For example; A Schizophrenic person may hear voices. It is their thoughts but there are no feelings attached to those thoughts, causing a person to conclude- “I must be hearing an invisible entities voice”.

The 5 main aspects that are affected when someone suffers from schizophrenia are:

THINKING- thoughts can be vague, woolly, their internal coherence gone. Control over thought process is lost and speech reflects it; rambling trying to keep up with rate thoughts are switching (Thought insertion). People try to come up with a solution as to why their thoughts have gone: “me but empty”, “life must be death because of the death of my emotions”

Sometimes thoughts stop, (Thought derailment) leaving people with the feeling that something, took my thoughts away.

Thoughts may narrate a person’s actions, but in this instance due to the lack of emotions that go with the thoughts, they can’t associate to them and feel as if they are being observed and controlled. It gives the effect of hearing voices.

Some people may gain unshakable, delusional beliefs which have no logical connection-“I am being controlled because the trees shake in the wind”.

It is this loss of thought and delusions that make someone loose sense of their own identity and feel as if they are being absorbed by their surroundings.

FEELING- In order to feel in charge of ourselves we need to have an identity, purpose and conviction, we are free to respond to our circumstances.

However when feelings and emotions feel blunted, flattened and stilted there is no spontaneous variety. Usual range of emotional responses is reduced producing a feeling of emptiness and portrayal of feelings that are out of context with a situation. A person may be so unsure of themselves that they do not know how to react to others (defective emotional feedback).

Reaction to others is based on a mutual recognition and reciprocation of the state of another. Schizophrenics are unable to achieve this.

PERCEIVING- Normal registering of a situation, in which someone is able to relate to by past experience and release a perceptive response, is not achieved in a schizophrenic. They may react to a situation wrongly; hysterically laughing in a quiet room. Thoughts are perceived as voices and somatised hallucinations may occur. This is when a sensation is felt in the body and perceived to be radar beams controlling them, they are changing sex or being electrocuted.

WILLING- Due to a different way of thinking, willing changes. People lose the will to do anything, lack drive and ambition and as a result become socially incompetent. This is a negative symptom, the positive symptom is episodes of sustained outbursts of drive. This leads to hazardous impulses of movement. Neither leads to an efficient way of living.

BEHAVING- This is the final outcome of all the above. As they are disturbed, so is a person’s behaviour; strange beliefs, odd behaviour, reacting to a situation wrongly. People often neglect themselves, do not wash or eat, may become dependent on drugs or alcohol. Some people become paranoid that they are going to be persecuted and either attack the believed persecutors or lock themselves away from the outside world. Following complicated rituals and routines eliminates anything unfamiliar and therefore any possible threats. They also help a person fell less like they are losing control or contact with the outside world.

Some may turn their fury on themselves as an act of self-mutilation or destruction. Objects may be hoarded in the belief that they possess a magical power that will help protect them. Strange things that are not usually there, like a crack in the wall may be perceived as a big danger. An obsessive defense is constructed around the person to help protect them from unknown dangers and lessen the chance of being caught out.

In schizophrenia there is a break in the continuity of self, leading to the belief that they are under attack. People feel threatened in a basic way. All values and perceptions that you rely on are no longer there to orientate yourself around. The habitual patterns of thinking, feeling and perceiving are broken up.

WEEK TWO

4^th March 13

Handed in my Statement of Intent

6^th March 13   

11:30 am: Had my first tutorial with Joe Hartley-discussed possible ways to portray the separation of feelings and thoughts, e.g. a fully functioning table, but none of the parts are combined; they have the potential to be whole but can’t manage it.

6:00 pm:

Visited a fund raising event for the charity Mind, in Stockport. Got some information about their work and a leaflet of dates when there are support groups to help people effected by mental illness. They seemed quite intrigued the ideas I have for my art.

8^th March 13

Trying to see life through a mentally ill person’s point of view;

Click here to look at some emotional drawings 

WEEK THREE

11^th March 13

Elle Simmons came in for a tutorial. Discussed the idea of creating an installation, around my work. This could consist of uncomfortable coloured lighting or playing a sound which is just outside the frequency humans’ can hear at. This would have the effect of making someone feel uncomfortable without being able to say why. Quite like playing on someone’s subconscious. The idea came from trying to create an environment that would portray how someone who is schizophrenic would feel. They feel at odds with their surroundings and I want to try and make my viewers understand it after experiencing my work.

13^th March 13

Had another tutorial with Joe Hartley and wanted to push the idea of an uncomfortable installation further. He told me that the size of an A4 piece of paper is the perfect dimensions that make people feel comfortable. It appears over and over again in nature. Architect Andrea Palladio took this theory and made a whole house around it where everything was made to those proportions. This gave me the idea of playing around with the proportions of my furniture. This would make my work look a bit ‘off’ but the viewer would not know why it did not look right. Possibly create un-ergonomic furniture that is not quite functional. Whilst researching this I also came across Thomas Heller and his A4 chair.

Whilst looking at un-ergonomic chairs I came across the interesting concept of uncomfortable, Fleeting seat collection. 

They have been designed by a number of people to encourage quicker meetings.

 

Sugar Fix; a chair from The Fleeting seat collection by Gabrielle

This chair is the one that originally caught my eye. It is a fully functional chair but a slight change in the angle of the seat makes it too uncomfortable to use. This intrigues me. It is again the idea that something is not quite right, the tiniest difference can have a big effect and be quite unsettling to a person.

14^th March 13

Decided to make some models of my ideas to just experiment, play around and see what I come up with. Here are the results:

1)      Only room for One- I wanted this model to portray the paranoia that sometimes comes with having schizophrenia. I used the table as it is associated with socialising-family meals around the table. This table looks like it could seat two, however when you look closely you realise that there is only one place at the table that is accessible. This for me portrays how they have blocked out the outside world, keeping to their many rituals, becoming socially incompetent. I drew on the plate, knife and fork to resemble how the schizophrenic can feel like they are not real anymore, as if they are gradually being absorbed by their environment-they have no identity. It also represents how things are not perceived properly, something may seem real to them but in reality it does not exist.

2)      Protection and Persecution- This model is of a cage surrounding a round dinner table. I used a round table as I feel that is jars with the harsh straight lines of the cage. It also reminds me of a circle of people gathering to eat together, all facing each other, again emphasising the loneliness of a schizophrenic’s world. The cage represents their protection from the outside world and all of its dangers. It is the tight, complicated web that a person may build around themselves to keep out danger and prevent uncertainties from entering. It also represents the mental barriers that stop people from getting close, understanding and helping.

It also however represents the barrier there is in society between people and the mentally ill. Their disorder persecutes them, not allowing them to be socially accepted or talk about their disorder for fear of discrimination and negative reactions.

3)    From Buzzing to Nothing- I wanted to focus of the pattern of thoughts for this model. The brain can flick from one extreme to the other with no warning. It is the most powerful thing in our body. It can plan out and make someone’s life or it can completely destroy it.

The uncontrolled wire side of the table represents the buzzing, erratic thoughts that pop into the brain. Ones that are not easy to follow and lead to rambling or making up words to describe the experience (Thought insertion). Your mind feels alive, buzzing, electric.

However it does not last for long, swiftly all thought is whisked from your mind leaving you speechless, emotionless, flattened. It feels almost as if someone has stolen your thoughts (Thought derailment).

WEEK FOUR

18^th March 13

10.00 Dave, Joe Hartley and Elle Simmons ‘Thinking through Materials’ talk

Gave me some good ideas about how to approach designing and creating my product. I like the idea of 3D drawings.

19^th March 13

After a discussion with Dave we stumbled across the kooky furniture designer Fred Baier.  After looking at some of his work I found myself particularly excited. Studying the way he matches strange shapes and objects together to make a piece of furniture has really inspired me. His work remind me the era of ‘make do and mend’, fitting together objects to create something else entirely. I really think I can expand this idea. The fact that things are so random and have not got a flowing continuity about them really reminds me of the structure of thoughts a schizophrenic person may develop. It also reminds me of the tendency some schizophrenic people have to hoard. Hoarding useless, random things occurs because of the belief that the objects possess some sort of magical protective power, which will shield them from the confusing and unpredictable outside world.

Fred Baier’s Prism chair-lacquered

20^th March 13

Visited the library to look for books on Fred Baier. Whilst I was there, I came across a few good designers.

One in particular is a chair with no legs by Suwaru Style. It is based on the traditional Japanese Dodo chair-a legless chair.  I like this idea. A chair has been designed with the potential to function properly, however the only thing stopping it is that lack of chair legs. It reminds me of a brain which has all of the right functioning parts, however the subconscious stream that usually connects them is missing and therefore the brain does not function as planned. As a result things as perceived wrongly and the symptoms of schizophrenia exist.

 

FIORE (フィオーレ) legless chair body, designed by Suwaru Style

22^st March 13

With the help of Dave, I came across the Brazilian artist Guto Requena and his Nóize chairs.

I find his work incredibly interesting, he has combined three iconic Brazilian chairs with the physical shapes of sounds recorded on the streets of Brazil, 3D printing the outcome:

This chair was inspired by Giraffe a chair designed by Lina Bo Bardi, Marcelo Ferraz and Marcelo Suzuki.

 

Giraffe chair designed by Lina Bo Bardi, Marcelo Ferraz and Marcelo Suzuki.

I find his way of designing an incredibly interesting concept; to take an already existing chair and adapt it according to the sounds of the place it was created. The chairs reflect the atmosphere of the streets in São Paulo brilliantly and I think it is a fantastic way of representing a place. I think this idea could also be used to create a piece of furniture based on a mental illness; brain waves could be recorded and then printed.

I like the fact that the chair has been printed. It is not the conventional way of producing a chair and for me, gives it an almost fake feel. This feeling could be used in my work to represent the fact that there is a fully functional chair, however there as aspects of it that is not expected, almost as if it is not quite right, not real. This would reflect the state of mind a schizophrenic person sees the world in, as if they are fading away and the world is not right anymore, it is becoming less of a reality.
The other main thing I would like to concentrate on with this chair is the shape. It reminds me of something that used to be whole, which has been fractured and then stuck back together, with the expectation that it will work properly again. I think the fact that the chair is whole, but seems to have fractures, reflects the fractures in a schizophrenics mind that stop the whole brain functioning as expected. 

This is a short video on one of his chairs. I included it as I like sounds and angles the chair used to document the chair. I find it quite disorientating.

                                                                 Video by Na Laje Filmes

EASTER

26^th March

Being inspired by my artists and the shapes found in drawings done by the mentally ill I experimented with my drawings and created shapes I felt could be used in my work to symbolise mental illness, just playing around, experimenting really. 

 Some Sketches

29^th March

Based on the harsh angles of Guto Reqena’s Nóize chairs, and some of the shapes I produced earlier in the week, I made a model of a table. I have moved back to the idea of tables as I feel the circular sharp represents the continuous cycle of schizophrenia, but also the fact that it is no longer the centre of family life due to having such a disruptive disorder.

I liked the idea of more than one layer used to make the table top as I feel it shows that there is more to mental illness than meets the eye, you need to strip down the layers of emotions and turmoil that come with having schizophrenia to really achieve understanding of the disorder.

I also made the edges unstable and rough to symbolise the hardships of experiencing schizophrenia, it prohibits ‘normal’ family life, just as the rough edges prohibit ‘normal’ use of the table.

The leg is made up of a bent wire that would be a metal pipe. It resembles the scramble of thoughts experienced and how the usual stream of thought processes is disrupted.

                                                                  Disrupted Dilema

 9^th April

Found designer Simon Thomas and was instantly draw to his Floating bench. It is a bench that is missing the usual connections from the seat to the back rest. It almost looks like an optical illusion, as if the seat is floating in mid-air. This for me also plays with my mind, I feel as if I perceive what I see in front of me wrongly and had to look twice to figure out what was going on. I like that the design caused this reaction. If this idea was used in my work, it could symbolise the fact that things get perceived and viewed wrongly by a schizophrenic, but also the gaps in-between the usual connections in the brain.

                                                        Simon Thomas’ Floating bench

 11^th April

Working with the idea of gaps in a piece of furniture like the Floating Bench and my previous model (Disrupted Dilemma), I then designed another model:

Schizophrenic states- is a table that contains a stable state (the flat, neat part), which gradually changes into a psychotic phase (the black, sharp edges). I wanted this model to represent the change of emotions felt when experiencing different stages of the disorder. When stable the table is neat and flat, almost usable, however the sharp, piercing spikes that disrupt the calmness of the first half symbolise, the peaks in the disorder, the rapid changes, and the unstable, non-functional condition a person is left in.

The legs are bent cones and strips of wood that do not allow the table to stand properly, echoing the fact that it is a non-functional table, despite all of the components being there they do not work properly together, like a schizophrenics brain.

The black is a viscous liquid poured all over the psychotic state which then dried and hardened dripping off the edges-I want it to symbolise the slow and uncontrollable dripping away of a schizophrenic person’s identity and sense of self. For the real thing I intend to use some sort of resin.

                                                                  Schizophrenic states

 WEEK FIVE

15^th April

Had a discussion with Dave about my schizophrenic states model and decided it looked like the cycle of schizophrenia but was too sudden and didn't flow as well as it could. Going to develop it further in my next model, which I have partial designed

16^th April

10.10- presentation talk with Matt and Li-en

Gained some more ideas for my exhibition and how to improve my models

1.00-

Had a tutorial with Matt who helped me plan out how I would CNC cut out my plywood and the possible use of dyed latex in the place of resin. The use of plywood would reference that IKEA family flat pack furniture feel, which would be slightly ironic in my work, due to the fact that the table it would not be used the usual social events of family life.

1.30-

Peer review which I got some positive feedback from.

19^th April

Designed my next model, to make it better I have split it into the seven main states experienced by a schizophrenic person (stable, depressed, not feeling quite right, deluded thoughts, erratic thoughts, hallucinations and psychotic). Each state would lead on to the next on in a never-ending cycle-The Seven Stages of Schizophrenia.  

Here is an explanation of each section:-

Stable- Everything is not out of the ordinary and therefore the table is a normal flat section

Depressed-The table is the same as the stable state, however the colour has changed to murky, hopeless black. This resembles how someone who is depressed looks the same, but is in a darker place emotionally

The feeling that everything is not quite right- Cracks begin to appear marking the beginnings of the gaps and cracks forming in a schizophrenic persons’ stream of thoughts.

Delusions- The table suddenly buckles and becomes un-usable. This marks the stage at which a schizophrenic persons’ feelings of not feeling right are solved but the emergence of some sort of strange delusional belief. The table had buckled as it marks the beginning of the deterioration.

Erratic thoughts-This section of the table is unstable and now has broken bits of wire protruding out from it. The wire represents the broken streams of thoughts and the lack of connection between thoughts. Thinking does not flow and concentrating is hard.

Hallucinations- The buckles in the hallucinating section of the table have now changed direction, flowing in the opposite direction to the buckles in the erratic section.

This represents a complete change in the way a person would perceive something and marks the emergence of hallucinations. There will also be resin pouring over this section and in the resin will be odd trapped objects, objects you would not expect in a table, all flowing off suspended in the resin. This is to give the effect that the viewer may be themselves imagining what is going on.

Psychotic-The last section is the psychotic state where it is burnt, roughly cut up into bending spikes and images are carved into the woods surface. The resin is dripping off the edges of the table and in-between the gaps-sense of self is completely lost, flowing away like the resin.

Here is another picture of different angles of the model:-

                                                     The Seven Stages of Schizophrenia

                                                     Designing and making the model

Once I had made the model I decided to play with the lighting and camera effects (slow shutter speed) to make it more disorientating to look at:-

After creating these pictures I have decided that I would like to have some sort of lighting shining up from the ground onto my table to cast shadows onto the walls and ceiling to give my work an extra dimension and catch peoples’ attention.

WEEK SIX

22^nd April

Looked at the works done by Richard Deacon, reminds me of the turmoil of having a mental disorder-almost like a Rolla coaster ride of ups and downs.

This one, for me, is one of his most particularly striking pieces, it is called The Missing Part

The Missing Part

1996

Aluminium and wood

430 × 364 × 357 cm

Private ownership

23^rd April

Began creating my final design by amalgamating parts form all of my past ones. Felt that the                                               The Seven Stages of Schizophrenia model needed more work as the sections did not go together as well as I hoped, the story I was trying to tell with them was jarred and did not flow.

I have decided to layer the different stages up on top of each other, reflecting the gradual build-up of symptoms, emotions and loss of identity. Here is my initial drawing:-

I also spoke to Matt again today who helped me develop my design and possible way I could make it. He also was reminded of the Campana brothers chair design made from found wood blocks, from my drawing of the table legs.

The Campana Brother’s wood chip chair

24^th April

Ran my ideas past Li-En in a tutorial and showed him the process of my half assembled model. This is the progress of it so far, now I have some pictures I can describe exactly what I want to achieve/portray:-

Assembled things I need to make my model

1.  The top layer is going to be made out of two 6mm thick sheets of plywood 900mm x 900mm.  It will have varying sizes of holes and dents it the top to represent the gradual breakdown that comes   with having schizophrenia and the slow emergence of gaps in a person’s stream of thoughts. The holes  will also allow the viewer to look through at the objects trapped in the resin on the second layer of the   table.

2+3.     The second layer will have the objects trapped in resin on top of it. It will be composed of          two 6mm thick hardboard, 800 x 800mm sheets, which has been warped it the rain. The warping will reflect warped thoughts a schizophrenic may have and will also hinder the top layer from sitting flush. This will represent the widening of the gaps in the brains functioning stopping it from working properly.

     4.   The last layer may not have holes in and will be separated from the other wood by a sheet of    metal- representing the physical barrier of discrimination between society and the mentally ill. The bottom section of 6mm plywood 1000 x 1000mm approx, will not necessary have holes in but will have cut spikes at the edges that have been kicked around and are slightly bent. They are also burnt. All of this represents the total breakdown of a person and the uncontrollable symptoms that can ruin a person and have massive consequences on their family’s life. 

The four legs represent the parts of the table on top-the two legs on the less holy side of the table are whole and fracture-less, whereas the two on the other side are broken up into fragments of wood nailed together. The broken legs reference the breakdown of a person’s identity and the fracture in their sense of self.

Over the whole table there will be clear resin. I want it to be poured over the top into the crevices and dripping over the edges. It will harden in this shape and trap the objects in-between the table layers. It will again represent the uncontrollable and unstoppable flowing away of someone identity and the unpredictable consequences of the disorder.

Finally under the table will be a bright light that shines up through the gaps, casting strange shadows onto the ceiling and walls. This will help attract viewer’s attention and curiosity but also represent the gaps in-between ‘normal’ thought processes and thoughts leaking away without control.

The whole table will be suspended slightly off the ground to again make someone stop and look twice. It will also portray the feeling of being a puppet, controlled by an invisible entity, the suspended wires referencing puppets strings.  The fact that my table is suspended will also mean that it is again not functional, always referencing to the loss of normal function in a schizophrenic brain.

25^th April

Working to finish my final model:-

I also sourced some wood from a skip with the help of a friend!

Nicely warped by the rain, just how I intended

Also found some planks of wood that I can use in the middle of the table design:

26^th April

Sourced some wood from the park near me, chips are from freshly cut down trees. I intend to use them to construct two of the legs.

27^th April

To make my life easier I have made a black card cut-out of the shape the top of my table will be. This means I can scan it into the computer, upload it to illustrator, and draw around it. I will then have the exact shape I want cut in to the wood with the CNC cutter. Here is the development of the card cut:-

The red dots are where I want the wood cut to half the depth, so there is a dent in the wood not a hole

28^th April

Got some plywood for the top and bottom of my table!

WEEK SEVEN

29^th April

Experimented with the resin on my model to finish it completely:-

Did not turn out quite as expected as the resin didn't dry clear it stayed white instead:

 Still produced the nice dripping effect I was going for though:

I think despite the colour it still portrays the texture and feel I want my table to have.

30^th April

Designed and cut out the shape I want the bottom of my table to be like, out of black card. Scanned it in and this is the result, the scanner cut the edges off slightly:

1^st May

Opened my two scanned card designs in Adobe Illustrator and pressed Technical Drawing to turn them into line drawings.
However after talking to Aidan the laser cutting technician, I discovered that they are no good. The smallest drill bit the CNC router has is 6mm diameter. That means that my jagged edged cuts are too delicate and complicated for the machinery. I now need to hand draw round my images on Adobe Illustrator, to smooth out and un-complicate the lines.

2^nd May

After spending hours drawing round the shapes on Illustrator I have finally finished!

As you can see the holes are now much smoother and will be easier to cut out now:-

After talking to Aiden again, I have decided to cut the jagged edged shape out by hand, as it was a 6mm thick piece of plywood. This combined with my design means that if I were to cut it out on the CNC router, there would be a danger of the thin spikes breaking off altogether, due to the force of the machine. It is more of a job for the laser cutter, however that is also not an option as it is too small for the scale I am working on. If I were to use it I would have to chop my wood in half and glue it back together later.

I also glued my two 6mm, 900mm x 900mm plywood sheets together to make it 12mm thick sheet. It is now ready to cut out my holey table design on the CNC router machine. I could not do this for my other design as;

a) I have no more wood and

b) I want the bottom layer to only be 6mm thick max.

3^rd May

Saved my Illustrator drawings as a .dwg file today, meaning that it is now converted to a file I can open up on Art CAM, the software used to program the CNC router.

Once that was done I booked a slot for when my wood can be cut and gave the design to Aiden.  The earliest slot is on Tuesday 7^th May. That gives me some time to concentrate on other areas of the construction of my table.

5^th May

Today I wanted to experiment with trying to burn a strip of plywood. The reason for this is that I want to partially burn some of the layers of my table to add a feeling of the total loss of control and the meltdown of a person’s usual life style.

I did not have any implement big enough that could be used to burn the wood so I improvised:-

These are the things I used to make a torch

I set it on fire and then used it to burn the plywood:-

Here is the result:-

                                                        The heat warped the wood slightly

I am quite pleased with the way this turned out but next time I feel like I will need a bigger flame to get the effect I want, maybe a bonfire!

WEEK EIGHT

6^th May

Experimented adding glass to my plywood with translucent sealant today. Wanted to see if it would work:-

I also tried carving an eye into the wood:- 

I am pleased with how both turned out and want to add them to the final product to enhance the feeling of chaos and the feeling of unseen entities in control (the evil eye/all Seeing Eye).

7^th May

Went to collect my wood from the CNC router. Finally have the top of my table done after all of the effort with the files : )

                                               The CNC Router and my cut wood

8^th May

Pleased with the size of the table top-I used the measurements of an existing picnic table that we have. It seats four but is smaller than the average family sized table for easy portability. I like this size as it is still big enough to seat more than one person, but it is slightly more awkward to achieve it. It references the family table but its size symbolises how it will not be used as a family table, emphasizing that loneliness and alienation some schizophrenic people can experience.

Today I firstly took the middle sections in the holes out. They were attached with two tabs which are easy to break off. It was done to stop them rattling around when the wood was being cut.

I then had to file down all of the broken tabs and sand round all of the edges to get rid of splinters. Lots of rain showers, splinters and windy hours later it is done!

The files and sand paper used

Sanding in the garden

This picture doesn't show the difference of before and after that well but this is the development the wood went through

This is the card design I originally made for the CNC router and the result

9^th May

To create the shape of the bottom layer of my table correctly I drew around the one already cut out and added the rest of the design.

I used the template I cut out of card as the starting point for the shape.

Donned my raincoat and spent the rest of the day cutting out the shape of the bottom layer of my table in the garden. I used a coping saw to cut the 1200 x 1000 sheet of plywood, 6mm thick.

I had to cut it by hand because as mentioned before, my design was too intricate and thin for the CNC router. It would have been likely my wood could have broken.

Started a little late in the day, so only got a quarter of the design cut before it got too cold and dark.

                                                         The wet wood after a lot of rain!

10^th May

Continued cutting today and managed to finish it, including sanding the edges down!
This is what it now looks like:-

                                                                              A close up

All this rain has also helped my hardwood warp, left it in the alley and went to check on it today. This is the result:-

WEEK NINE

13^th May

The resin came today. Got 5kg of it just to make sure there is enough! However it was broken and stank, I rang up to tell them and they are sending another one, so now I will have 10 kg!

14^th May

Went into MMU today. The studios have been cleared out and prepared to present our final major projects.

Went to see where I had been put. Turns out I am in the exact same space! That is good thought as there is plenty of room for my table to fit.

However there is no way of suspending my work from the celling so instead I have decided to add an few centimetres of clear Perspex/resin blocks, under my legs-this will give the effect of a floating table without the extra effort of suspension. I have also decided, with the help of Dave to add circular mirrors under the legs of the table to make it look like there are holes in the floor. They will also reflect the underside of the table and give a disorientating, confusing view to someone looking. I hope it will create a strange effect and make someone think ‘am I seeing things?!’

This is a picture of the space I will be working with:-

16^th May

Made the most of the lack of rain this morning and went out and cut my hardboard. The hardboard is also thin enough to rip and creates a rough flaking, edge. I really like this effect, that combined with the warped wood has created the exact look I wanted:-

Combined it with my plywood cut layers and this is the result:-

17^th May

Today was a big experiment day.

FIRST EXPERIMENT:

As you know I want the edges of the bottom layer of plywood to be burn to make it black and represent depression, loss of control and a meltdown of a person’s identity. However I feel that the first experiment with the home made torch did not create a big enough flame.

As a result I wanted to experiment with pouring flammable materials onto the wood and setting them alight.

WARNING: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. I had someone to help me, proper clothing and an emergency fire extinguisher.

I started with alcohol to see if it would produce the look that I wanted however it did not have enough alcohol in to burn. 

Next I tried oil, but all it did was make the wood wet and did not set alight.

The last thing I tried was aerosol. This created a big flame just as I wanted and created a good burn mark on the wood. 

The area where the alcohol was poured did not burn which is why the top picture (below) it is only burnt at the edges.

I feel though although it worked well, that this is too risky to carry out on my actual wood. As a result I am going to try burning some white spirits next time.

SECOND EXPERIMENT: Now I have my resin I wanted to experiment with mixing, the consistency, how to use it and that it definitely dried clear this time!

I poured it all over the wood and got some good dripping effects over the sides as I had hoped. I also added a bit of hardwood on top of the plywood to double check that could use the resin as a gluing agent as well.

                                                                     The dripping effect

Another thing I wanted to test and see if it would work was creating clear resin blocks. I need these to add onto the end of my table legs to give the effect of a floating table since I can’t suspend it from the ceiling any longer.

I need something to pour the resin into to mold it, however I don’t want it to stick to the sides of the mold  I decided to use a layer of Vaseline around the edges, as a lubricating agent. Hopefully it will stop the resin from sticking to the sides of the mold.

For this experiment I used a small, old, aerosol lid. I lined it with Vaseline and poured the resin in. I will have to wait until tomorrow to see if the dry resin will come out!

THIRD EXPERIMENT: Wood stain- yesterday when I combined my plywood with the hardwood I noticed that they obviously were not the same colour. As I result I am considering staining the plywood slightly darker so it does not stand out quite as much. This is what it looks like stained.

The staining also made the carved symbols in the wood stand out more. I am contemplating it!

18^th May

Checked my resin block that I made yesterday. It has cured well and even came out of the mould with a bit of encouragement! Has a few bubbles in but I will just make sure I don’t stir it as much next time.

Today I also carved out symbols on the edges of the bottom layer of wood. I used a pair of scissors to do the carvings.

They carvings are supposed to reference the creative side a psychotic moment can bring out in someone and how someone experiencing a psychotic moment would use symbols to cling to the remaining parts of their personality.

For me the main symbol is the eye. Schizophrenics have drawn this symbol for centuries and it could be any of three things; eye=I (sense of self)=ego=existence, the experiences they can see or the evil, all Seeing Eye that is ‘controlling’ them.

Here is what the carvings look like:-

19^th May

Started to make the legs today out of the chips of wood I collected in week six. This is a rough set up of how I want to join the legs together and what they will look like:-

Going to screw the first block of wood to a bit of plywood and then screw the plywood to the bottom of my table. I am using sycamore and beech wood which is very hard to screw as a result I need to drill half way down so that it is quicker, easier and does not ruin the head of the screw. 

Once that was done I attached the plywood to the beech wood. I drilled a hole and counter sunk the hole so that the screw fitted in and then screwed into the block of beech.

Here is the final block of wood attached to the plywood:- 

After this I need to assemble the rest of the legs by nailing them together. I began to hammer the nails in but the wood was too hard and that nails slightly too thick. This meant that the wood kept splitting in half and I couldn’t attach the blocks together. There was only one successful nail that did not split the wood, however the wood was still too hard and the nail wouldn’t go in, it just bent!

I got some thinner nails but they were no good either. So I have decided to try and resin the wooden blocks together and see if that works.

                                                                       The resin on the legs

Only two of the legs need to be made from the chips of wood so after adding the resin to them, I will concentrate on the front legs and other aspects of construction.

WEEK TEN

20^th May

Today I wanted to focus on burning the bottom layer of my wood, the ‘psychotic layer. The burning will leave brown/black soot on the wood and references a complete meltdown of a person’s identity and loss of control. The dark colours will symbolise darker emotions like lack of drive and depression that can be experienced.

For this I used white spirits, I knew it would work due to the experiments I carried out earlier in week nine.

WARNING: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. The wood was well away from anything flammable; I had adult help and a fire extinguisher for emergencies.

To start off I poured the white spirits over the wood and then stepped back and set it alight. It burnt well but was slightly slow going:-

However once I got the knack of it the burning got better:-

To do some specific burning I made another torch and burn some bits that needed some extra attention:-

 The soot did not penetrate the carvings and has made them stand out more, just as I hoped:-

                                                                       Before and after

I then put all of the table layers together to see what they look like when fully assembled. I am pleased with the effect but don’t think I will include the planks of wood sticking out as I feel that it makes the table too busy:-

I then wanted to begin construction. I want the middle hardwood layers to be warped but when the plywood is added on top it pushes them flat. To remedy this I have decided to add a couple of centre meters of resin in-between the sheets so that they are not pushed flat, here is what it looks like:-

A close up of the layers with the resin added in the middle:-

21^st May

10:00am

Went into MMU for a lecture on our supporting statement

8:00pm

Got back late and by the time I was ready the sun was going down. This meant that the next thing I needed to do was done in the dark!

That just so happened to be resining the top three layers of wood together. I also needed to add the bits of broken mirrors, notes, cutlery etc. in-between the holes in the top layer. I assembled the objects and placed them where I want them to go under the wood:-

I then took it outside and added the resin at around 2 in the morning! This is what it looked like when done:-

Each object/ thing trapped in the resin represents something:-

Broken glass/pottery- they first of all reference the fact that at ‘normal’ tables, glasses and cups would be used. However the fact that they are broken shows that they are no longer functional, just like the owner of the table. I picked them also as they are quite brittle substances that fracture, shatter and break easily, just like the human mind. They represent the fragility of life and how so easily the balance can be broken.

Cutlery- the cutlery also references the fact that the table should be sociable place to to sit and eat around, yet again reminding the viewer that this is not possible in a schizophrenic home. The knives and forks are also trapped whole in the resin, reflecting how a person may feel trapped, having nowhere to turn to-encased in something not familiar.

Mirror- I used the mirror as a chance for anyone looking down at the table to catch a glimpse of themselves, allowing them to stop and reflect. To really think about who they are, what they have experienced and how they treat others. They give you an opportunity to look at yourself and encourage thoughts of reflection about ‘your identity’.

The resin over the top will mean that the reflection is distorted, showing how perception for a schizophrenic would be disturbed. The mirrors are also smashed showing the fractures in everyone, no matter who you are, we all have our own insecurities and problems to deal with.

The notes- these are people’s feelings, experiences and emotions written down. The resin has made them slightly transparent. This reflects that fact that the way people feel and the state that they are in can be easily overlooked and ignored. Some of the notes are scrunched up to represent the frustration of not being heard. The mentally ill are ignored and not cared for by society.

Wires/bent metal/tin foil- the out of control distorted and bent different types of metal symbolise the turmoil that someone may be experiencing and how it gradually starts to leak out and is noticed by others. The wire also represents the change in normal thought patterns. They are disturbed preventing someone form thinking in an ordered, functional manner.

The resin- the resin has trapped all of the objects under a hostile and unfamiliar layer, just as a mental illness can do. It prevents a person form interacting and functioning as normal, it is not visible but is just as much of a physical problem.

The fact that the resin is flowing and dripping away, being lost in the cracks of the table references how a person with schizophrenia feels when their identity is being lost due to the illness. All fundamental beliefs a person would rely on as a reassurance of who they are have been changed and disturbed. This leaves a person unsure of who they are and how to interact with others.

The holes in the table top- the actual holes in the wood represent the gradual breakdown of the way a person’s thoughts flow, leading to the disintegration of a person and ‘normal’ life. They are the gaps that appear, disturbing the normal functioning pattern of the brain.

22^nd May Last day, before deadline for my table to be in!

10:00am

The adhesive layer of resin I added last night is semi-dry. I added the last of the hardener to the resin and poured it all over the surface of the table letting it drip off the edges.

A lot dripped off the edges so I scooped it up in a jug and poured it back over the surface to make sure that it was even and everywhere was covered:-

01:13pm

Whilst waiting for the resin to dry I began to prepare the legs. I concentrated on the front two legs. For AS I made some legs on the lathe, which I never ended up using. This was because they weren’t ornate enough. I decided to get these out and use them. They are the ‘normal’ legs that portray how a person with a mental illness looks ‘normal’ and can put on a brave face, hiding behind their acting.

I had stained and varnished the legs so needed to sand them down, with grade 100 sandpaper:- 

Once this had been done I cut them to 75cm high with a coping saw. Preparing the legs took a long time due to that fact that I was doing it all by hand. I have finished the two front ones and marked out where the screws are going. I then made a small hole with a bradawl to help guide the screw:-

Once I had measured out where I want my legs to go, I created a makeshift work surface; the trampoline. I placed the wood on four tin cans. This meant that it supported my wood and gave me room to drill without ruining the trampoline!

I drilled a hole in the wood that was slightly larger than the screw and countersunk it so the screw fit perfectly. All that was left to do then was screw the two front legs on. Three ruined screw heads later it was done:-

                                                                                 The hole for the screw

                                                                                 Screwing the leg on

I have just checked on my blocks of wood legs, that I tried to resin together on the 19^th May. The resin still hasn’t dried and they have just fallen to pieces! AAHH I haven’t got time to redo them now so I will have to try something else.

Luckily I have a backup plan-our beech tree was trimmed last month and we saved some of the branches. I have one that is a similar diameter to the front legs. I have just cut it down to the right length and it fits perfectly. I have also made the decision to only have three legs now, I could easily have four but as I was working out where the back leg would go, I realised that it looked good with only three legs. It also looks odd and not the ‘normal’ amount of legs to have. I like the idea that it is not a regular amount of legs. It makes my table slightly uneven, just like the thought processes in a schizophrenic brain. It also caused my brother to look twice at my table to check he hadn't missed the fourth leg. I was happy with his reaction because my table made him doubt what he was looking at. That reminds me of Simon Thomas’s Floating Bench and also how a schizophrenic would perceive something wrongly.

Because the leg still has the bark on it also look very strange and out of place, I really like the effect it has next to the other ‘normal’ legs, the odd one out. It is almost like a hallucination leg:-

I then began to attach the last leg. It is also screwed onto the plywood, however beech is much harder than pine. As I result I did not place the starting hole in the centre of the circle but instead slightly off. This is where the middle of the grain is and it will be slightly softer. I then drilled into the beech, 30mm depth. This is half the length of the screw, I did this because otherwise it would take me forever to screw it in. attaching the leg was then quicker and easier. The legs are now finished! 

6:53pm

The resin had semi-dried and formed some fantastic drips!

7:31pm

Now the resin is dry enough to work with I need to consider how to attach it to the bottom, burnt layer of plywood. I have decided not to resin the bottom layer, so that my work is not uniform and has the slight feel of being disorderly-just like a schizophrenic brain.

I have decided that I will glue some wooden blocks in-between the bottom layer and the resined layers. This will attach them together and also mean that the top layers are slightly elevated above the bottom layer. There are two reasons for this. The first is so that the drips are not squashed when the bottom layer is added. The second is so that there is a slight gap in between the layers reflecting the gaps in the ‘normal’ way a brain functions.

I have measured the longest drips to determine the size the wooden blocks should be. 4cm is the measurement. I have a plank of wood that is 2cm thick so I will chop two bits off and glue them together. I will do the same for the other side so that the top layers sit evenly. To ensure the glue sticks I have sanded the surfaces of the wood down and clamped them together after gluing:-

8:48pm

I then assembled the table (without the glue for now) and took pictures, here is the finished result:-

I mentioned earlier that my table will have a light shining underneath it. The reason for this is so that the strange shape of my wood is projected in shadow form onto the wall. It worked even better that I could have hoped:-

The shadow looks like a monster looming over the table, reminding me of the invisible entity that some schizophrenics believe ‘controls’ them. It also represents how mental illness is a big, dark shadow in our society, something not to be talked about, something to be avoided, however it is always there lurking….

These darker ones definitely, for me, highlight the fear that comes with having a mental disorder:-

I also played with the focus of the picture to make it more disorientating to look at, a dark blurred shape is far more concerning to look at. It also symbolises how things are perceived wrongly:-

10:39pm

Took the top layers off the table and the legs off the bottom layer. I can now put it in the car without just like a piece of flat pack furniture!

11:30pm

I quickly made the resin blocks for the bottom of the table. I poured the resin into three old bottles cut open and the same diameter as each of the legs. I lubricated the moulds with Vaseline and then poured the resin in. To finish I wrapped the moulds in bubble wrap to trap the heat given off form the resin reaction. This will increase the temperature and therefore the rate of reaction, ensuring that the resin cures overnight.

23^rd May DEADLINE!

11:00am

Checked on my resin blocks from last night. They cured fine but for some reason have turned yellow! Not sure why think they may have cured too fast causing a colour change, can happen. Going to have to leave them for now and maybe make some more for Tuesday possibly?

11:30am

Table is fully packed and ready to leave! Will have to drive with the windows open as the resin is still a bit smelly

2:30

Got to MMU and with the help of Jenny got all of my work up 4 flights without any disasters! Began to screw the legs back onto my table with the help of Naomi and Jenny. I then glued the wooden block on to the bottom layer for the top layers to rest on. Used some wood glue that dries in about 2 hours:-

I then added the top layers and the lamp and now I have FINALLY finished! Here is what it looks like in my space:-

                                                                           The whole table

                                                                             Different angles

                                                                                Detail

                                                                   With the blind down and lamp on

Then went to look round some of the other work, looks so good!

OVERVIEW- THE STAGES OF DEVELOPMENT:

1. Initial idea of furniture portraying a mental state, the research into schizophrenia and creation of the three leaflets possibly for the exhibition

2. Contacting charity Mind and understanding the emotions involved with having a mental disorder and then concentrating on schizophrenia

3. Looking at and designing some models that portray certain aspects of schizophrenia, e.g., loneliness, paranoia

4. Working with the idea of creating something that is not quite right, e.g., a slightly un-level chair that when used, makes the viewer feel uncomfortable without realising why, playing with ergonomics to make someone feel uncomfortable-referencing to the state of mind a schizophrenic may develop. Inspiration came from the Uncomfortable seat collection. Use of unnatural lighting and sounds just outside our frequency zone, creating an atmosphere around the table, were also thought about. Aspects of something that plays with your mind and leaves you unsure whether you dreamt it up or not….

5. Began to start looking at Japanese chairs with no legs-the idea that a product is usable but not all of the components are there, leaving something not fully functioning

6. Moving on then to the amalgamations made by artist Fred Baier. I like the way he uses shapes and forms that you would not associate with furniture and then creates something that could be used as a chair, for me concentrating on the idea that not everything is as it seems.

7. Straying back to the table idea again, inspiration then flowed from Brazilian artist Guto Requena and his Nóize chairs. They reference the idea of a whole chair however due to the harsh design, they are not fully functional. Playing around with the harsh angles of the seat I then designed a small model of a table that represented the harsh struggle of having schizophrenia. Concentrated on the layers of emotions experienced, the uncontrollable aspects and the ups and downs.

8. I then decided to develop the idea of my last model. I came up with a design that was harsh to look at (referencing the Nóize chairs), worked with the conventional circular table shape and also focused on the changes in schizophrenia (stable to psychotic gaps in functioning thought stream).
The circular shape of the table was used to symbolise the circle of emotions.

I also introduced the idea of some sort of viscous resin that would be dripped over the top of my table and left to drip off the edges. This would represent the loss of control, the flowing away of a person’s identity and the disturbance of the normal flow of thoughts.

9. Looking at my latest model I was reminded of the cycle of schizophrenia and then tried to design a table that would portray the 7 main stages usually encountered by a person with schizophrenia- stable, depressed, the feeling that everything is not quite right, deluded thoughts, erratic thoughts, hallucinations and a full on psychotic state.

10. However when this model had been made I felt that it did not flow properly and made a more organised representation of schizophrenia than was true. Taking ideas from my previous models I then created my final design. I layered all of the different states of schizophrenia on top of each other to represents the levels of emotions, the layering up of symptoms and the uncontrollable piling up of thoughts and behaviour.

The top layer had holes of varying sizes cut in to it, representing the gradual falling apart of a person’s identity and the gaps that begin to emerge in stream of thoughts. These holes also allow the viewer to see the second unstable layer and the things trapped on top of it inside the resin. Objects like broken pottery, glass and mirrors were used to symbolise the fragility of someone’s identity and the mirrors give you an opportunity to look at yourself and encourage thoughts of reflection about ‘your identity’. The trapped messages represent the discrimination that a person would feel-no-one to talk to, no-one to listen. They also allow the viewer to interact with the table and to properly inspect the hidden emotions. Objects like knives and forks trapped in the layers of the table reference again the idea of a family table, emphasising the fact the table is not fully functioning or being used as it’s supposed to be and again the idea of loneliness, a table meant for family interaction is instead a reminder of the lonely life someone with schizophrenia could lead. No-one can ever fully understand your turmoil.

The middle layers are composed of thinner warped wood which creates gaps in-between the table layers, like the gaps in the brain the prohibit ‘normal’ functioning but also symbolised the change in thinking, as new warped and deluded thoughts occur.

The bottom layers consist of possibly a metal sheet and a sheet of wood that is roughly cut and burnt around the edges. The metal sheet references the physical and mental barrier between ‘normal’ people and the mentally ill, whereas the roughly cut sheet of burn wood represent the breakdown of self and the destruction of the disorder.

The four legs represent the parts of the table on top-the two legs on the less holy side of the table are whole and fracture-less, whereas the two on the other side are broken up into fragments of wood nailed together. The broken legs reference the breakdown of a person’s identity and the fracture in their sense of self.

Over the whole table there will be clear resin. I want it to be poured over the top into the crevices and dripping over the edges. It will harden in this shape and trap the objects in-between the table layers. It will again represent the uncontrollable and unstoppable flowing away of someone identity and the unpredictable consequences of the disorder.

Finally under the table will be a bright light that shines up through the gaps, casting strange shadows onto the ceiling and walls. This will help attract viewer’s attention and curiosity but also represent the gaps in-between ‘normal’ thought processes and thoughts leaking away without control.

The whole table will be suspended slightly off the ground to again make someone stop and look twice. It will also portray the feeling of being a puppet, controlled by an invisible entity, the suspended wires referencing puppets strings.  The fact that my table is suspended will also mean that it is again not functional, always referencing to the loss of normal function in a schizophrenic brain.

11. Preparation and experiments before making the table. Creating the files for the CNC router and playing with the possible ways I can make parts of the table.

12. Construction of the table, slight modifications to the design and addition of the resin.

13. Preparing the exhibition.